LOYOLA LADY IN FLUSHED PHONE FIASCO
SLIMY CELL SEEMS SPENT, SAYS STUDENT
TELEPHONE FLASHED, TURNED COLORS

SOME RECENT FIGURES indicate that out of an estimated population of 59 million, Italy has over 72 million cell phones in use. Loyola student Laura Stagliano will surely have need of one of these extra phones after a seemingly routine trip to the bathroom went terribly wrong.

"I dropped my phone in the toilet," Stagliano said sheepishly in a dusky corner of Cagli's Palazzo Mochi early Thursday afternoon. "It was in my back pocket. I pulled my pants down and the phone just fell in!"

Eyewitness reports had the demure Stagliano fishing about in the toilet bowl with nothing more than her bare hands to retrieve the soggy cell phone.

"When I got it out, it wouldn't work," Stagliano said, shaking her head. "It began flashing and then the screen turned white."

Never one to give up, however, Stagliano rose to the challenge and attempted to dry off the cell phone with a rather novel method: a hair dryer. "I gave it a blow dry," she explained matter-of-factly. "And now it's drying out. But it's still not working."

In this day and age, when communication is instantaneous and the world's gone wireless, Stagliano finds herself in something of a modern dilemma. "I don't know what I'm going to do," she confided, a very real worry in her eye. "This is not good. I need my phone!"

Perhaps she could borrow one of those 13 million extras?