GRADUATE ASSISTANT NICOLE LUCCARELLI NEVER PICTURED HERSELF behind the wheel of a turbocharged 300km/h Formula One racecar. The white-knuckle thrills and hairpin turns of the Bucci bus to Fano were enough to satistfy her insatiable need for speed. But all that was to change last week when she came down with a slight cold.
That's when she first tried Grand Prix brand decorated facial tissues.
"They're not only efficient, but extremely decorative," explained Luccarelli, with nary a sniffle.
The tissues, which are sold in a packet of nine, are decorated with crudely drawn and poorly printed open-wheel racecars zooming around an imaginary track.
Lucarelli swears by the colorful mouchoirs. It's gotten her into some trouble with her boyfriend, local hairdresser Matteo. "I prefer Donald Duck," he confided.
Lucarelli's loyalty to the German-made tissues got her into some trouble last Friday night, when she found no more Grands Prix in her bag. She rushed to the local Sidis supermarket in pole position. However, she was crestfallen to discover that the store was all out of Grand Prix brand, and all that remained was store brand.
"I was disappointed," Luccarelli told me. "There were no words to describe it."
Since then, reports have Luccarelli blowing her nose in private with Donald Duck tissues, shamed and disgraced.
However, while crossing the piazza Saturday morning, this reporter found a lonesome, abandoned packet of Grand Prix tissues. Did it fall from Luccarelli's bag? Did Luccarelli toss it into the fountain in a fit of anger, a traitor to Grand Prix tissues, now warm in the feathers of a Mr. D Duck?
There is only one way to tell.
Gentlemen, start your engines!
