LOYOLA LADIES LOVE LUCCARELLI'S MATTEO

HAIRSTYLIST'S DYE JOBS MAKE FEMALES FLOCK & FAWN

Local spikey-haired coiffeur Matteo's clippers never seem to rest. The local hairdresser's blond highlights sparkle in the Cagli sun as he flits to and fro around his chic hair salon. This is Matteo: Cagli's most "in" hairdresser, as well as being graduate assistant Nicole Luccarelli's boy toy and a noted Donald Duck tissue aficionado.

Matteo (no last name needed) has become something of a phenomenon among young ladies in the Cagli program. All attempts to count the number of women who have availed themselves of his services have failed, for every hour the number seems to increase.

"Quite simply," student Melissa Schantz told me, "He's fabuloso. I mean, fantastico. He does exactly what you want him to do."

Matteo welcomes females in need of a hair makeover into his trendy lair, known as "the Loft". He provides these shaggy-haired ladies with magazines, and offers Coke, sugary espresso, and champagne.

"You definately don't feel like you're in Cagli anymore," Lizz Samolis swooned.

"They say he's cut hair in London, Paris, and Milan," Schantz noted.

Lizz Samolis gave her fellow students a surprise Thursday morning when, with the aid of Matteo's understanding hands, she traded in her trademark pink bouffant for a more subdued asymmetrical cut she refers to as "the Hot Betsy".

"I just got tired of my hair being pink, orange, blonde, and all shades in between," she said. "I stumbled on Matteo's place and it just looked cool. And what a head massage Matteo gave me."

Her classmate Katlyn Massimino nodded in agreement: "It was orgasmic!"

Massimino visited Matteo this very afternoon, returning with a red dye job.

"It took five hours, and he dyed my arm!" she exclaimed. "But the end result was very good. There are three different reds in it. I was in a red mood. Hey, even Madonna went red."

"Normally Matteo pushes the blonde," Melissa Schantz told me. "He says red is a fall color."

So what is the reaction to the new haircuts?

"They're super-chic, and superfine!" Schantz cried.

As if on cue, a chorus of ladies entered the room and began gushing over one of the haircuts. "You look so good!" they exclaimed.

"My brother saw it," Schantz continued. "He said I looked European. And he hopes I don't get a Euro-attitude." She laughed off the notion, however. "I'll never let my hair go to my head," she told me.

But the question remains: how will these students adjust to the lazy sloppy-chop techniques of no-name American hairdressers once they're back in the U.S.A.?

"Matteo can't be topped," Lizz Samolis said with a grin. "I'm just going to have to shave my head."