STUDENTS FLEE CAGLI, LEAVE HALF-EATEN FOOD IN WAKE

INCREDIBLE SCENES OF BREATHLESS STUDENTS racing around the Atrium were witnessed this morning. The students, some of whom had rolling suitcases in tow, were bound for Florence, and let nothing stand in their way.

Although the Atrium features a variety of convienient garbage receptacles placed in various corners throughout the premises, the Renaisaance treasures of Florence occupied such a prime place in the heads of some students that even basic sanitation took a backseat.

Interpreter Antonio Mansi motioned to a slimy piece of pizza, sprinkled with parmasean cheese and wrapped in tin foil, which lay atop a fine wooden desk in the corner of the Atrium foyer.

"Anybody know whose pizza this is?" he asked amid the flurry of suitcase wheels.

No-one claimed the soggy slice, which had been sitting in the same location since at least last night.

In the computer lab, the scene was similar. A half-drunken bottle of juice stood aloof on the table next to the computer, its presence a mocking insult to the painstakingly hand-lettered sign just above it reading "NO Liquids on table (near computers)" (sic).

Atop a shelf of videotapes stood three similarly abandoned bottles of water.

But who has time for the ancient arts of throwing trash away and recycling plastic bottles in this day and age? Who among us has not left a slice of tomato and cheese pizza overnight in the foyer (just next to the coat rack) of an academic institution once or twice? Can we blame the frenzied excitement of youth, which leads hurried students to abandon all notions of cleaning up after themselves when the prospect of Michalangelo's "David" towers before them?

You, the reader, may decide.