PROF TRIES MAYO PIE
CONDIMENT PACKET NOT FOR PIZZA, DECIDES CIOFALO

NOTED FOOD CONNOISSEUR and Cagli Project head Professor Ciofalo amazed onlookers Wednesday night when he willingly tore open a mayonaise packet and squirted its contents onto the cheese pizza he was in the process of eating.

In the spirit of cross-cultural understanding, Ciofalo obtained the mayonaise from student Carolyn "CK" Kennington and squeezed the fatty sauce onto his freshly-baked pizza as the Italians do.

He prepared to bite into the pie as his table guests held their breath in anticipation.

Ciofalo's final opinion?

"It's disgusting!"